The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

~Dragon~
07:30 Dec 27 2005
Times Read: 545



Black Dragon. You have the spirit or a Black
Dragon. You like to be active, but You often
feel empty and alone. But you take those and
turn them into hate and aggresion. Sometimes
you have a temper problem. You often are
social, but hide behind it. You are a whole
different person behind it, but let no one get
close enough to find that person, however you
despise being told what to do You like to
always be free to do what you wish though.



What Dragon Spirit Resides in You?
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........
23:04 Dec 26 2005
Times Read: 547



A romantic vampire



You yourself believe that romance never dies and in
truth it probably never does! The key to your
success as a vampire is that you have the
ability to love and care. You no where your
going and how to get there. You are still a
keen predator and are one of the best!! You get
your kills (which are mainly the opposite sex)
by becoming their mates, you lull them into a
false sense of security then you kill without
mercy. You can only love your own kind, because
you dont like the hurt that comes with loving
humans. You have not lost any of your humanity
(except obviously the killing bit, lol) and
with that comes hurt as you watch your fellow
vampires slowly disappear into insanity.



What sort of vampire would you be and what is your story?(great pics)
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~Mood: Pissed~
10:01 Dec 23 2005
Times Read: 549

~Still no goddamn phone call. it is now 0400. His plan left FL @ 1910. You do the math.....what the fuck is he and his family doing? He said he would call me asap. Is he home? I don't know.....I am worried. I do not know if I should call or not. I fucking swear I feel as if I am being played. I hate that feeling and he is really pissing me off.....he said he wanted to talk to me and he missed me and this and that. Now I wonder if he was just blowing smoke. Also his ex girlfriend seems to have come out of hiding.....she seems to want him back. All this has givin me a spliting head ache.....grrrrr I fucking hate this.....ring goddamn it *glares at the phone*!!!!!!!~

~YAY~
03:48 Dec 23 2005
Times Read: 551

~Steven as I write this is on his way home!!!! His plane was due to leave FL at 1910. I am not sure if that was Eastern or Central time.....but it is currently 2142. So either way he has left FL :-)

I am so happy!!!!! I have missed him so much!!!!! All this week I've been like a zombie and this week has really sucked ass. Steven is suppose to call me when he gets home.....I can't wait!!! My emotions have gotten the best of me today. I've taken pills to make my self go numb and I've cut. I had to make my self cause I was so numb I ended uo going to deep. I do not need to go to the hosptial. They will try to have me locked up again and I am not going to the mental hosptial......they can kiss my ass on that one. Tomorrow my parents come down cause they are gonna spend christmas with me and the demons. Guess I will wear long sleeves cause they will flip if they see the cuts....I really don't need the bull shit.~

~I give up~
03:59 Dec 22 2005
Times Read: 553

I have tried his cell phone I do not know how many time and it is always busy. I do not even know when he is due back in kentucky :-( He promised me he would call me and he never did....I am so pissed at him I could scream. I know it won't do any good....but it still pissed me off. I feel as if all he is doing is playing with my emotoions. I tried talking to Freddy and I am still in the way......always in the way. Seems I am just in everyones way. I kind of just give up...fuck it.

~Mood: *shrugs*
00:53 Dec 21 2005
Times Read: 554

Is it just me or so ppl seem really happy? I am almost affraid to speak to anyone cause they seem so fucking happy......sorry I am not a happy person. I don't even begin to know how to be happy. I try and it gets turned to shit.......I hate emotions.....I find them to be a waste.....and love....my god what is up with that? Cupid seems to be doing his job a little early this year....it is like a fucking illness it is every where.....I often wonder if ppl really know what love is....maybe I am just the freak who does not understand it.

~Mood: Your guess is as good as mine~
13:46 Dec 18 2005
Times Read: 555








~Who ever said love was the best thing in life...lied. It is the worst thing.Last night was a really bad night for me. I was sicker than a dog and I tried serveral times to text message Steven in hopes he would text me back...but ha no luck there. I must of been stupid to think he would of. I think what pisses me off the most is he promised he would and said if I needed him to just text him and he would text me back. I would say I don't care but that is a lie. I do care and it bothers me greatly. He says he loves me and all this other shit and yet when I need him he is never there. I tried pointing this out to him before but either he does not want to see it or just does not want to. Either way he is pushing me away futher and futher.....I often wonder if that is what he really wants. if so then he shall have what he wants....~

~What Color is Your Heart~
21:35 Dec 16 2005
Times Read: 557

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance

~Mood: Who Cares~
19:28 Dec 16 2005
Times Read: 558

~Well Steven leaves today and I am really bumed about it. I wish I wasn't but who am I gonna talk to now? It's not like I got a list of friends a mile long. Freddy will not return any of my messages. I guess he still hates me....In the end everyone I know ends up hateing me. I swear it is like a sign or something. I should be anti-social.....I try to be social the best way I know how to be and I even screw that up. ~



~I swear at times I wonder if I was to even be born.......I honestly feel my birth was a mistake cause no matter how hard I try to fit in any where I can't. At times I just give up~

~Mood: Depressed~
21:51 Dec 14 2005
Times Read: 560

~I hate it when depression sets in. God how it can fuck with your mood and make you angry and feel even violent at times. I don't even know why I am typing this crap out.......maybe to get it off my mind. I have so much I wish to say and express but it is hard to put into words. If I did I would sound like a fucking loon....blah~

~Mood: Somewhere between here and there~
13:50 Dec 13 2005
Times Read: 562








~My moods are shifting again. One min. I am happy, the next min. I am sad. Then I get angry and pissed off.....i hate it when my moods are unstable. I feel as if I am on a god damn roller coster. Then to top it off the voices inside my head will not shut up. They keep whispering all my faults and all the wrong I've done. Also I am really freaking out about Friday. Steven leaves to go on his vaccation.~



~He just does not seem to understand (Steven) how I feel. He makes light of everything.......and that so pisses me off. I sometimes feel as if he does not care, but he says he does. Sorry I know I make no sence with my ramblings......My thoughts are going so fast I cannot slow them down......Guess I should go clean house, maybe I will feel better.~

~Lost~
02:50 Dec 11 2005
Times Read: 564

~Do you ever just wish you could fade away? I wish I could. I am so sick of life sometimes. Everytime I turn around I am being bitched at for something. I am getting sick of it. I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up at time. I wish Steven was home. I would like to talk to him but he is over at his grandparents. This really sucks and so does this entry~

~Pain~
07:52 Dec 10 2005
Times Read: 565

~Well I am a idiot....I have fucked my eyes up by wearing contacts for to long and now I am paying for it. My eyes hurt and can't stand light....they keep watering and are in alot of pain. Hell just the glare from the pc make me wanna rip my eyes out. think I left them in to long the other day. I wish I would stop crying!!!!~

Playing the Fool
08:10 Dec 09 2005
Times Read: 567

You would think I would learn, but nooo not me. I never learn....I keep giving and I allow my self to get hurt. Everything I do I do for him and I give him what he wants...he gets it then it is all of a sudden "I am tired....I am going to bed". I am done playing the fool in this game we've built for 2. Go find another play cause I am done!

Longing
22:58 Dec 08 2005
Times Read: 571

~Do you ever long to just be held? To be wanted? To be desired? I am in one of my moods. I long to be touched, felt, wanted, ect....Why does my Master have to live so far away? I want to feel him....I want him to take me in his arms and have his way with me.....to feel his buring desire and passion as he holds me close to him.....*sighs*. However I wonder if it is all just wishful thinking......~



~Wishful thinking seems to be all I have these days. We speak on the phone and on line...we talk about the day we meet.....but will that day ever come? I don't even wish to think about it now....makes me sad and depressed......~

Hmmmm.......
01:19 Dec 06 2005
Times Read: 574

My first journal entry for this site....woohoo. Hmmm what to say......Not sure would probley bore my self to sleep right now. I am currently waiting for Steven to get home. Blah this entry sucks.....